LAFAYETTE, LA – Despite concerns that UL would take precautions to combat the COVID-19 virus, officials announced today that it posed no threat to campus after it was unable to find a parking spot.
COVID-19 – commonly known as the Coronavirus – spent approximately 45 minutes driving around the Lafayette campus looking for a parking spot in which it wouldn’t get towed, before giving up and moving on to it’s next location.
The news is sure to come as a boost to the area and the university as a whole, as this means that classes and on-campus events can continue as normal.
COVID-19 explained that it was frustrated by the outcome.
“I’m just trying to get to as many places as possible and cause as much disruption as I can”, it said, “But UL really screwed me over. I can’t find anywhere to park that wouldn’t result in me getting a ticket or being towed. What a mess.
But, I have to remain optimistic and move on to the next place. UL should count themselves lucky with this one – they were ahead of the curve.”
But UL officials claim that it was all part of the plan.
“It was our plan all along”, said spokesperson Deborah Turner, “This was a long-game. Sure, we might have made it difficult for visitors to find parking spots for the past 10 years, but we’ve also made it difficult enough for a deadly virus to keep on moving out of here.
We’re pleased with the result, and y’all are very welcome. See you in class!”
