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River Ranch Sandbags Just Bricks Of Cocaine

by The Daily Crawfish Editorial Team
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RIVER RANCH, LA – Claiming that it’s both eco-friendly and allows actual sandbags to be given to those less-affluent areas, River Ranch residents have stacked bricks of cocaine in front of their front doors to help prevent possible flood waters.

With Hurricane Laura fast approaching the Gulf Coast, high water levels are expected in the area. The cocaine bricks, believed to be top-tier premium grade from the heart of Colombia, began being put into place this morning and continued throughout the day.

Residents say that using the bricks is an eco-friendly and completely renewable way of keeping water out. They claim that they can be used for flood protection one day and reused for other reasons once the hurricane has passed, such as business meetings, entertaining, and feeling better about not being able to pay the mortgage.

River Ranch residents can collect cocaine bricks for usage at their property from all local “definitely not a drug dealer” houses in the area.

Tags: cocaineRiver Ranchsandbags
The Daily Crawfish Editorial Team

The Daily Crawfish Editorial Team

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Relax, baw.

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