FREETOWN, LA – There were celebrations on the streets of Lafayette today, as the Freetown neighborhood celebrated its annual ‘Burning of the Porch Couch’ in honor of 4/20.
An event fun for all of the family, the spectacle sees one of the thousands of porch couches in the area stuffed with low-grade marijuana before being set ablaze by the chosen Stoner King or Stoner Queen. The honors this year were bestowed upon some guy seen frequenting Caffe Cottage (name unknown). The couch is then set ablaze using the ‘Toke of Freetown’, a special weed-packed blunt that has been passed down through the ages from stoner to stoner.
Once the couch is fully on fire, residents and onlookers alike gather around it for the rest of the evening, essentially using the porch as a makeshift hotbox. Thanks are given to Snoop Dogg, Colorado and Dazed and Confused, while Harold and Kumar piñata’s are beaten in celebration until edible’s explode out of them.
Lafayette residents have been advised that a strong odor mixture of weed, sweat and patchouli is likely to linger over the area for at least 24 hours, and are advised to use extra wax melt cubes for the next few days.
Special protections have been implemented for the event ensuring that no arrests will be made. Sheriff Garber however is expected to once again stare on in disgust from the perimeter, twitching incessantly with every puff-puff-pass that takes place while reciting the Lord’s Prayer over and over.
This is the 23rd annual Burning of the Porch event with each one getting bigger, better and higher. Celebrations started at around 9am this morning, but aren’t expected to end until at least midnight.
