LAFAYETTE, LA – Acadiana thrill-seekers rejoice! Lafayette has ranked in a new list that is sure to please the local adrenaline-junkies.
The ‘Top Ten Most Extreme Activities In The World’ list was released today by internationally-recognized travel magazine Condé Nast, and the sport of ‘Cycling along Johnston Street at any given daylight hour’ ranked third – a ranking that Lafayette City Council member Aisha Guill hopes will be a major boost to tourism in the area.
“We’re thrilled to feature on the list and hope that this brings in people who are looking to live life on the edge”, said Ms. Guill, “We were partly surprised, but we’ve also known for a long time now that the cycle paths on that stretch of road offer unbeatable near-death experiences, every 11.6-seconds to be precise.”
And Ms. Guill also paid tribute to the awful drivers in Lafayette, commenting that the accomplishment would never have been made possible without them.
“We really have to give a big hand to the drivers in the area, along with the reckless endangerment and general stupidity that they’re well known for”, she said, “Without them it wouldn’t have been possible. There isn’t any other city in the country that can achieve what we’ve achieved. Why would you want to go to the likes of Seattle, and use the bike lanes safe in the knowledge that you’ll make it to your destination alive? That’s so boring.”
And what message did Ms. Guill have for the adrenaline-junkies out there?
“Give us a try”, she said, “What better way to have your life flash before your eyes than casually cycle down our beloved Johnston Street, as an F150 flies past you at 60mph? Or as the back end of a trailer clips your shoulder? Or as a dump-truck kicks up dust, blinding you and forcing you to swerve into oncoming traffic? Let me tell you, there’s nothing like it. You won’t be disappointed.”
The full list was released as follows:
- Zero gravity, USA
- Skywalk, China
- Cycling Along Johnston Street, Lafayette, USA
- Storm chasing, USA
- Stratosphere Skyjump, USA
- SCAD Diving, Worldwide
- Rickshaw Run, India
- Paramotoring, Worldwide
- EdgeWalk, Canada
- Cage of Death, Australia
I’m thinking right off the bat that this is BS. Who is Aisha Guill? She most certainly NOT a member of the council.
This is a satire site; everything here is for fun. 🙂