LAFAYETTE, LA – Fresh off the back of Grillgate and having to endure the horrific sight of three whole people throwing some high-quality meats on the grill outside of his residence, Mayor-President Josh Guillory awoke in cold sweats last night after having that recurring dream where he was surrounded by cookouts.
It took place at approximately 3am, with Guillory jumping up from a sound sleep with beads of sweat dripping down his face and his heart-rate beating at a rapid pace.
“Everyone was grilling”, he reportedly said about the dream, “Everyone. It was like a cook-off. All of the meats were well-seasoned and there were condiments everywhere.
Nobody should have to witness that, not even in their dreams. I could taste the spices in the back of my throat and could smell the rubs in the back of my nostrils.
Dear God, I never want to have to experience that again. It was awful. I’m thankful it was just a dream, but I’m wide awake now. I’m not getting back to sleep after that.”