LAFAYETTE, LA – Finally, a compromise that everyone can get behind! With citizens clashing over the proposed removal of the Alfred Mouton statue, city officials have quelled both sides by pulling him down and replacing him with Buc-ee Beaver.
It was decided at a hastily arranged council meeting that the smiling, baseball cap-wearing semiaquatic rodent was the best option as who the hell can get mad at that goofy looking thing?
The statue was erected this morning and, hell, just look at it. It’s a beaver holding its arms out clearly wanting a hug.
City official Maria Scott explained how the decision was made.
“The decision to replace a Confederate figure with a overly-excited beaver was made after careful deliberation and suggestions from a number of people”, she said, “Ultimately we felt that this was best for everyone involved – a figure that both sides could look up to.”
“His wide smile, eyes full of joy and slightly coked-up demeanor are already serving as an inspiration to the citizens of Lafayette.”
“We think we’ve made the right decision and look forward to all moving forward as one.”
Parents are reminded not to let their children climb the statue to hug the beaver.
This is ridiculous. Until Buccees opens a store in Louisiana (preferably off I-10 in Lafayette), we should not give them this free publicity.
who the hell is Maria Scott? No real city official lol. But funny all the same. They should replace this racist Mouton statue with something that makes more sense, like the Marquis de Lafayette the city is actually named for. He was a humanitarian.
Where will the original statue be placed?
Why is this article a blatant lie!!! Mouton statue still stands!
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