RIVER RANCH, LA – Like, oh my God, do you feel that Fall breeze, Cindy? A cool front has arrived in Louisiana, and a firefighting aircraft today dumped 12 tons of pumpkin spice over River Ranch to appease the residents.
With temperatures dipping below what seems like 170 Fahrenheit for the first time in five months, River Ranch folk have reportedly already begun dusting down the Ugg boots in preparation for the coming season.
Residents were reported to be getting slightly tetchy about not having access to anything pumpkin spice when the first gust of wind blew through, and so officials gave the green light to go ahead and drop the favored Fall flavor around the Main Street and other residential areas as soon as possible in order to put a stop to any tweaking.
“That first cool wind blew and I found myself searching for something pumpkin spice”, explained resident Kendra Zapata, “There was nothing in the pantry. Nothing in the refrigerator. Jesus Christ I was tweaking so bad.”
“Then we heard the roar of propellers, so we all rushed outside and saw pumpkin spice powder falling from the sky. We were all rolling about in it, snorting it, you name it. I put some in my Community Coffee and felt myself returning to some sort of normality. The kids put some on their avocado toast and they were fine too.”
“It was a scary few moments for sure.”
Officials announced that everyone seems to be responding well ,and there are no plans for any further pumpkin spice powder drops at this time.
