RIVER RANCH, LA – With the registers down at Target stores nationwide, officials confirmed moments ago that River Ranch is currently under a state of Martial Law.
There has been noticeable unrest and tension in the area since Target made the announcement an hour ago, and forces have moved in to ensure that emotions don’t bubble over. An 8pm curfew is also in place.
Golf carts have been locked up and are unable for usage at this time. Blockades have also been put in place, wide enough to ensure that Yukon’s and Tahoe’s can’t fit through.
There have been no reports of any injuries or major incidents just yet, although there were reports of a triple, venti, half-sweet, non-fat, caramel macchiato being thrown across a street.
This is a developing story – more information will be made available as it is made available.
