LAFAYETTE PARISH, LA – In what is being hailed as “kinda weird” by local authorities, a significant increase in local crop burning is taking place today across most of the area.
It’s not unusual for fields to be burned for control reasons in around Lafayette Parish and the surrounding areas, but officials and the public alike have reported unusually smokier-than-usual air conditions.
The original consensus was that it was just a foggy morning, however local meteorologist Rob Perillo – unusually more mellowed out than usual – confirmed via phone that “Nah man, ain’t no fog anywhere… no fog… anywhere. We goooood.”
Local authorities, using their state-of-the-art technology such as Nutria rats trained to sniff out certain substances, are still at a loss as to where exactly the crop burning is originating from (although the Freetown area is currently seeing the highest smoke density, closely followed by River Ranch).
“We didn’t see any field burning on the schedule for this weekend”, said local official Travis Russell, “but evidently one slipped through the cracks. Seems to be a pretty big controlled burn too, judging by the amount of haze in the air.”
“We take controlled burns seriously for many reasons, but this particular burn smells kind of nice to be honest. And most of us here at the office are feeling a little more relaxed than usual, so we’ll just let this one slide.”
“If there are any further issues then we’ll act. But all I want to do right now is take down an industrial-sized tub of cheese balls.”
Officials plan to keep a close eye on conditions over the next twelve hours, if they can somehow pull themselves away from their snacks and Mountain Dew.
