LAFAYETTE, LA – Great news for local fried chicken fans! With the future of Popeye’s last remining buffet on the line, Mayor-President Josh Guillory has stepped up to the plate and committed to saving the famed establishment as long as all spicy items are removed.
The Popeye’s buffet, located in Lafayette and the last remaining one in existence, has an extensive group of fans who love nothing more than to eat their own weight in chicken and know that they’re only paying $9 for the privilege.
However due to COVID restrictions in relation to buffet eateries, there has been uncertainty as to whether it will be around much longer.
But fear not! As today Mayor-President Guillory threw his complete support behind the buffet and pledged to save it, so long as it only served chicken at a mild spice level.
“I am fully committed to saving this Lafayette gem” said Guillory, “But on the premise that anything with a higher seasoning level than I can handle be removed from the menu. Therefore, only plain, bland and mild heat levels will be on offer.
I’ve discussed this with a number of irrelevant, unrelated and highly underqualified people who I believe are essential to this type of decision-making and they are all in complete agreement that this is a fair deal.
I will be doing everything in my power to ensure that this happens, and of course I will be making this topic as highly controversial as possible to annoy the maximum amount of my constituents. Lassy Lebanon tomp ruler, as we say down here!”