DELCAMBRE, LA – After settling down to some MeTV for the evening after a long day of cooking the annual Easter Meal for her outrageously large family, area grandmother Pam Duhon confirmed that she has absolutely no regrets whatsoever over the fact that, once again, she cooked enough food to last until approximately October 2030.
Reports suggested that there was around 30-40 tupperware containers piled up on the countertop, each one meticulously labeled with a little bit of masking tape to indicate its contents — with another 15 or so supposedly already chilling in the refrigerator.
“Y’all take home what you want, it all needs eating”, she was reported to have told her family members, allegedly almost forcing her grandson Matt to take the leftover cheesecake and a handful of Hershey’s Kisses and peanut butter cups from the annually-prepared candy basket.
Uncle Steve, famous for being able to go back for a fifth serving, was seen leaving with four foil-covered plates that were rumored to consist of almost all pork-roast. Aunt June was also spotted hoarding the family-famous rice dressing, sneaking out the side-door with two containers worth. The lesser-used getaway exit was obviously pre-planned as it allowed quick and easy access to her car.
“Oh Lord, I need to make less food next year, we always have so much left over”, Grandma Pam was alleged to have said to her daughter Christine as she fell back on her recliner. However this comment was immediately dismissed by her grand-daughter Rachel as something that had been suggested for the past eight years, and that we should not to expect the quantities to shrink any time soon.
“She says that every damn year”, said Rachel, “And every year we come on over here for Easter and there’s enough food to keep a medium-to-large-sized army functioning for at least six world wars.”
