NEW OPELOUSAS – After seeing a record amount of depression within it’s vicinity over the past few days, the NOAA have begun the process of renaming the tropics to ‘New Opelousas’.
This year’s hurricane season is a record-breaker, with seven or more area of depression currently in play and the potential for even more.
Hurricane Sally struck the Gulf Coast late last night, with Teddy, Vicky and Paulette out in the Atlantic. Two other depressions lay off the African coast, with a further area of storm potential in the Western Gulf.
Officials at the NOAA have been working hand-in-hand with local leaders, and both parties have come to the conclusion that it would only be right to rename the area after one of the most depressing places on Earth.
With the are of New Opelousas surrounding the entire equator, thousands of signs have been fabricated and will be placed around the perimeter to ensure that fishermen, drug dealers and The Cajun Navy all know that they are entering the territory.
“We felt that this was the only thing to do”, explained NOAA official Apryl Collard, “With the tropics so depressed at the moment we knew that we could no longer call it “the tropics”. We needed a name that reflected just how depressing the region was.
So we put a shortlist together of the most depressing places we could think of and chose Opelousas. Other names in contention were Morgan City, Shreveport and Sulphur.
New Iberia was in the running too, but nobody needs another New Iberia.”
A name-changing ceremony will be taking place aboard the Cajun Navy’s naval destroyer the CNS Thibodeaux later this week.