BATON ROUGE, LA – With a spate of wrecks causing closures on the Basin Bridge within the last – well, since it was built, the DOTD announced this morning that a swimming lane in the Atchafalaya Basin was open for usage.
The lane will offer the people to swim between Lafayette and Baton Rouge. Officials even suggested that in most cases this is expected to shave up to 12 hours off of commute time.
Despite the obvious dangers – gators, hypothermia, inability to actually swim – most potential users of the swimming lane have already said that they’d be willing to risk all of this if it meant not being stuck in a 4-hour I-10 closure.
“We’re excited to be offering this alternate travel method”, explained DOTD spokesperson Greg Ross, “We understand the frustration that many travelers experience on the Basin Bridge thanks to drivers that I wouldn’t trust to drive a shopping cart.
Hell, I’m actually talking to you right now from an eastbound wreck. I’ve been sat here for three days now. I haven’t eaten in two days.
Of course we understand that not everyone may be partial to swimming, so floats and noodles will be available for usage at various dedicated ‘Flotation Stations’ located along the route.
A lot of planning went into this and we hope that people will utilize it to help ease road congestion.
We can’t promise that’cha things won’t get a little wet, but it’s a small sacrifice to pay.”