BATON ROUGE, LA – Proving that there might just be a God after all, controversial Baton Rouge Pastor Tony Spell was arrested today after nearly backing a bus into a protester on Sunday.
The arrest, which took place earlier this morning, prompted the pastor to temporarily halt his #PastorSpellStimulusChallenge and launch his brand new, impromptu #PastorSpellBailMoneyChallenge.
Pastor Spell explained the new challenge from the East Baton Rouge Parish Prison.
“Look, I want y’all to forget about that last challenge video I made”, he said. “This one’s even better and will get y’all into the promised land even quicker. I had a vision from God, and he told me “Tony! Get your people to take their stimulus checks and send it to your attorney”. So look, I’m just passing the message on.
We’re calling it #TonySpellBailMoneyChallenge, and we’re setting a goal of $100,000. And if we could get it completed within the next oh I don’t know, two to three hours, then that would be great. Remember, it’s your deposit into heaven.
Like I said, it’s orders from the big man. I’m just doing what he says. $100k, three hours. Pastor Spell’s Bail Money Challenge. Let’s do this. Please. I’m a little scared.”
Experts predict that sadly, due to the nature of his followers, the target will be hit within 30 minutes.