GULF OF MEXICO – Following the sad news that the oilfield is now completely and utterly dead thanks to President Joe Biden officially stepping foot in the Oval Office for the first time, the Gulf of Mexico oilfield has been bought out by top-tier location predators Spirit Halloween.
The oilfield was officially shut down seconds after President Biden took the oath at his inauguration on Wednesday, with approximately six million people losing their jobs (although Fox News estimates that figure is probably closer to 184 bambaziltillion).
And now with hundreds of empty, derelict offshore platforms just sitting there, Spirit Halloween has stepped in to purchase every single one of them in preparation for the Halloween season.
The company have also purchased a number of helicopters to transport customers to and from the platforms, reminding people that a lot of their future stores will lie in international waters meaning prices will be heavily reduced.
Spirit Halloween have refused to release a statement on the acquisition, however it is believed that they will be releasing a line of spooky oilfield costumes to celebrate the purchase.
