WASHINGTON, D.C. – With the Bahamas officially announcing today that they will be banning U.S. tourists from entering to prevent the spread of COVID-19, U.S. government officials this evening expanded on the advisory by reminding Americans that Holly Beach would be a fine alternative.
The announcement came this morning as the U.S. continues to do a terrible job at containing the spread of the virus. However with thousands of potential visitors to the Bahamas now finding their vacations ruined, an alternative destination is clearly needed.
“We understand that many people who were planning on going to the Bahamas are sorely disappointed”, said U.S. Department of Tourism spokesperson Jerry Burns, “But rest assured, we have a destination right here in America that not only rivals the Bahamas for beauty, relaxation, fun and quality of sand, but far surpasses it.
Holly Beach in Louisiana is everything you need and more. Get your Bahamas refund, jump in your car and drive on South until you can’t go South any more. Luscious golden sands, beautiful scenery, the perfect temperature. It really is Heaven on Earth. Or at least Heaven near Erath.
Just kick back on a recliner, snap your fingers and a servant will bring you a drink on demand. However please note that only Natty Light and Bud Light is available.
And don’t forget to take in that romantic sunset as you watch the Sun go down on the last twelve operational oil platforms in the Gulf.
Just know that all is not lost. Simply upgrade that Bahamas vacation to a Holly Beach vacation and you won’t regret it.”
