LAFAYETTE, LA – It seems that he truly does hold the power. In a move that is sure to anger local residents who are still sweating like a Yankee at a boudin eating contest, local meteorologist Rob Perillo is believed to be holding a cool front hostage.
Perillo, who has in recent years believed to be able to control the weather, is reportedly asking for $250,000 in exchange for the release of the cool front that is apparently being held in a nearby storage container.
Authorities are not quite sure where the cool front is being held, however they are actively trying to find it in order to avoid paying the ransom fee.
However with many if not most people in the area desperate for cool weather at this point, the monetary demand is not expected to be an issue with most people more than happy to contribute to the total fee.
“$250,000? Hell, I’ll pay that myself. I’m sure I can get most of that if I sell my house. I’d rather live on the streets than go through another week of this heat in October.” – Ed Jones
“Is there a Gofundme set up for this? I’ll donate” – Leon Rogers
“Y’know, $250k to be able to cook gumbo without melting into a puddle sounds like a pretty good deal” – Nikki Porter
This is an ongoing story – updates will be made when available.