ANTIFA HQ – Damn, this is some seriously poor planning. Despite being one of the largest and most destructive organizations on the planet, it has just been revealed that ANTIFA had to cancel their River Ranch takeover due to a double-booking with a Beverly Hills takeover.
The person responsible is believed to be one of the receptionists at their Seattle main office, who accidentally entered two takeover’s into the database on the same day at the same time.
Despite the booking program flagging the issue, the receptionist in question was reportedly too tired to notice it due to a long night of providing support for front-line business destroyers in a different area of the city the night before.
The event was supposed to take place at 4:20pm when the green moon was at its highest point, however despite a heavy police presence in River Ranch today it ended up just being a regular day. Our sister station in Beverly Hills, CA reported a full day of carnage, destruction, and gluten free snacks.
“We’re really not sure how this could have happened”, explained an ANTIFA spokesperson, “We can only apologize to those we let down. It’s the year 2020 and we double-booked an event. This shouldn’t have happened and we will be conducting an internal investigation into what happened and how we can prevent this from happening again.
We will be offering everyone who had purchased tickets to attend a complimentary ANTIFA water bottle, and a coupon offering 20% of any item from our online ANTIFA store.”
The event is not expected to be rescheduled this year.