LAFAYETTE, LA – With Brian Pope being found guilt of perjury and malfeasance in office this week, a mysterious out-of-town stranger by the name of Ryan Bope has happily accepted the interim position of city marshal.
Nobody knows quite where Bope came from or when he arrived in Lafayette, but the curiously familiar character reportedly turned up at the marshal’s office today ready and willing to step in to the position.
Donning a fine, full mustache, fancy bowler hat (with rental sticker still on the back of it) and a Dollar General sheriff’s badge, Bope made his case.
“Hello, my name is Bri—Pri—Ryan, yes, Ryan Bope”, he said, “And I am here to offer my services as the interim city marshal. Please look over my credentials listed here on this Arby’s napkin and I’m sure you’ll be quite pleased with what you see.”
“I can begin immediately and you can certainly trust me to handle any city marshal-related finances as I am very careful with money and surely won’t take advantage of the position like the gentleman prior did. Who I do not know, by the way.”
Officials allegedly spent an hour looking over the napkin resume and decided, what the hell, he can’t be any worse than Brian Pope.
Bope begins the interim position tomorrow before a decision is made on who will take the permanent position.