Monday, April 12, 2021
No Result
View All Result
The Daily Crawfish
  • Local Issues
  • Lifestyle
  • Politics
  • Business
  • Sport
  • Infrastructure
  • Health
  • The Arts
  • Other Crap
  • Local Issues
  • Lifestyle
  • Politics
  • Business
  • Sport
  • Infrastructure
  • Health
  • The Arts
  • Other Crap
No Result
View All Result
The Daily Crawfish
No Result
View All Result

Louisiana Democratic Delegates Struggle To Name Any State Accomplishments During DNC Speech

by thedailycrawfish337
in Politics
0
Home Politics
0
SHARES
0
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

PHILADELPHIA, PA – After suddenly noticing that delegates were confidently reeling off accomplishments and claims-to-fame of their respective states, Louisiana Democratic delegate Karen Carter Peterson went into panic mode last night as she realized that Louisiana, well, didn’t really have anything.

State delegates gave small, patriotic speeches during the gavel-in, before delivering their nominee votes to Stephanie Rawlings-Blake. And with the states delivering the speeches in alphabetical order, Peterson and her colleagues had to think quickly.

“Oh shit”, she was seen to have muttered, “Everyones naming their state accomplishments. Quick, Brian, think of something that we can mention. Famous people. Famous places. Famous moments in history. Anything. Otherwise we’re going to look like chumps! And hurry up, we’re already up to D for Delaware.”

However state delegates were unable to get their thinking caps on quickly enough, and the speech was a bit of a mess.

“The great state of Louisiana!”, she declared, “Home to democratic progressives such as Lyndon Jo… no wait, that was Texas right? Shit. Uhm, where was Quincy Adams from? Massachusetts? Fuck. Louisiana, where the Alamo was fought bravely by our… Texas as well? Are you kidding me? What about the battle of Gettysburg?… Pennsylvania?! Did we actually have anything interesting happen here? God this is a nightmare…”

However Peterson finally pulled one out of the bag.

“Well we have Kajun Krispy Kremes right?” she said, “That’ll work. Louisiana, home of the boudin king cake! Anyway, here’s the votes…”

thedailycrawfish337

thedailycrawfish337

Next Post
Area Man Ready To Wheel Out 31GB Of Political Memes And Breitbart Articles To Help Prove Point Online

Area Man Ready To Wheel Out 31GB Of Political Memes And Breitbart Articles To Help Prove Point Online

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Connect with us

Recommended

Area Cracker Barrel Attendant Jesus Not Sure That He’s Acquired Enough Vacation Days To “Save America”

Area Cracker Barrel Attendant Jesus Not Sure That He’s Acquired Enough Vacation Days To “Save America”

5 years ago

SURPRISE: Lafayette Unveils ‘Gulftown’, New City-Wide, Hands-On Aquarium Experience

4 years ago

Relax, baw.

It’s just satire. So don’t come at us with that lawyering-up bullshit. This is ‘merica. We got that First Amendment, ‘kay? Good.

For a more professional explanation, please read our disclaimer.

Give us a follow on Facebook, y'all!

Contact: [email protected]

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Politics
  • World
  • Business
  • Science
  • National
  • Entertainment
  • Gaming
  • Movie
  • Music
  • Sports
  • Fashion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Tech
  • Health
  • Food

© 2021 JNews - Premium WordPress news & magazine theme by Jegtheme.

sponsored