Monday, April 12, 2021
No Result
View All Result
The Daily Crawfish
  • Local Issues
  • Lifestyle
  • Politics
  • Business
  • Sport
  • Infrastructure
  • Health
  • The Arts
  • Other Crap
  • Local Issues
  • Lifestyle
  • Politics
  • Business
  • Sport
  • Infrastructure
  • Health
  • The Arts
  • Other Crap
No Result
View All Result
The Daily Crawfish
No Result
View All Result

BREAKING: Jeff Bezos Stepping Down As Amazon C.E.O. To Bring The Keg Back To Its Glory Days

by The Daily Crawfish Editorial Team
in Business
0
Home Business
0
SHARES
0
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter



LAFAYETTE, LA – Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos will step down later this year, turning the helm over to the company’s top cloud executive Andy Jassy, the company announced Tuesday. Bezos has confirmed that he will take the roll of General Manager of The Keg, bringing it back and restoring it to its glory days.

Bezos founded Amazon in 1994 and has since morphed the one-time online bookstore into a mega retailer with global reach in a slew of different categories from gadgets to grocery to streaming, however he confirmed today that he was “kind of bored” and needed a new challenge in life.

“I’m excited to announce that this Q3 I’ll be leaving this hell-hole and moving to a new hell-hole” Bezos said in a letter to employees. “I have opted to move to Lafayette, Louisiana in order to bring back The Keg and restore it to the cheap, nasty hole-in-the-wall that Lafayette once knew and loved.

I have already begun assembling a team that will oversee getting every detail perfect, from the grubby décor to the smoke-stained walls. I’ll ensure that we have a team dedicated to bringing back penny pitchers and ensuring that there’s a strong chance that you’ll go home with a black eye.

I will be floating The Keg on the stock exchange, so shares will be available to purchase in due time.

This is a new challenge for me and one that will be infinitely times more difficult to achieve than anything Amazon had to offer.”

The Daily Crawfish Editorial Team

The Daily Crawfish Editorial Team

Next Post
Mayor Josh Guillory Commits To Saving Popeye’s Buffet As Long As Spicy Items Are Removed

Mayor Josh Guillory Commits To Saving Popeye's Buffet As Long As Spicy Items Are Removed

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Connect with us

Recommended

Louisiana D.O.T. Considering Plans To Demolish Basin Bridge, Allowing Commuters To Swim In Effort To Speed Up Commute Time

Louisiana D.O.T. Considering Plans To Demolish Basin Bridge, Allowing Commuters To Swim In Effort To Speed Up Commute Time

5 years ago
Community Pride: Area Woman Awarded Guinness World Record For Most Prayers Sent Over Facebook

Community Pride: Area Woman Awarded Guinness World Record For Most Prayers Sent Over Facebook

5 years ago

Relax, baw.

It’s just satire. So don’t come at us with that lawyering-up bullshit. This is ‘merica. We got that First Amendment, ‘kay? Good.

For a more professional explanation, please read our disclaimer.

Give us a follow on Facebook, y'all!

Contact: [email protected]

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Politics
  • World
  • Business
  • Science
  • National
  • Entertainment
  • Gaming
  • Movie
  • Music
  • Sports
  • Fashion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Tech
  • Health
  • Food

© 2021 JNews - Premium WordPress news & magazine theme by Jegtheme.

sponsored