WASHINGTON D.C. – Great news for Louisiana came out of Washington today, as the GOP moved to clarify that boudin overdose to the point of actually becoming boudin is NOT one of the pre-existing conditions listed in their new healthcare act.
The majority of Louisiana residents expressed immediate concern regarding the potential inability to be eligible for health insurance should they decide to partake in a 24-hour boudin binge, as most do at least 2-3 times per week.
But Republicans moved swiftly to put the state’s mind at ease, reassuring them that although 99% of medical conditions will now potentially see you turned away by insurers, eating yourself into a boudin coma and becoming one with the boudin is not one of those.
“We want to move to reassure Louisiana that actually becoming boudin due to consuming an excessive amount of boudin does not class as a pre-existing condition”, explained House Majority Whip and Louisiana Congressman Steve Scalise, at a press conference, while eating a link of boudin, “We know that we’ve potentially screwed over a lot of people with a lot of the new regulations of the healthcare act, but rest easy knowing that you can still consume enough boudin to effectively become a giant link of boudin and still receive medical coverage.”
“Yes, we clearly want to kill you in a number of ways – you only need to read the healthcare act to understand that – but we would never deny you the chance to drown your sorrows over having to pay $500,000 for a toenail removal by devouring your own weight in boudin. Have at it.”
The act is expected to reach the senate for review shortly.
