BATON ROUGE, LA – Claiming that tonight’s 29-0 defeat was “nothing to worry about”, Coach Orgeron announced that he will be launching a revolutionary plan in the coming weeks with the ambitious aim of scoring a point against Alabama within five years.
LSU, who have arguably had their most successful season in years so far, were once again Bama’s whipping boys despite the return of Devin White in the second half.
And for the second time in three years, LSU were held to a shutout.
Coach Orgeron, however, has a plan.
“We know that we’re nowhere near Alabama in terms of quality”, said Coach O in the post game press conference, “However we strongly believe that, with a bit of luck and maybe a bit of skill, we can score a point against them before the year 2024.”
“I’m ambitious. I don’t just want to beat the nobody teams who have a partially blind kid as a quarterback. We want to aim higher than that. We want to put points on the board against Alabama. We want to aim for those dizzy heights.”
“It’s a lot to ask at this point, but I have a five-year plan in place. Whether it’s a touchdown or more likely a field goal, we know we can do it. Who knows? One day we might win a quarter against them.”
“I’m putting the final touches to this plan and hope to begin implementing this in the next few weeks. We have the players to do it. We’re in this together.”
LSU dust themselves down and return to action next week against some Podunk team from Arkansas with a livestock animal as a mascot.