Monday, January 18, 2021
No Result
View All Result
The Daily Crawfish
  • Local Issues
  • Lifestyle
  • Politics
  • Business
  • Sport
  • Infrastructure
  • Health
  • The Arts
  • Other Crap
  • Local Issues
  • Lifestyle
  • Politics
  • Business
  • Sport
  • Infrastructure
  • Health
  • The Arts
  • Other Crap
No Result
View All Result
The Daily Crawfish
No Result
View All Result

PRAYERS: Iberia Parish Crime Stoppers Spokesman “On Indefinite Sick Leave” After Chinese Finger Trap Mishap

by thedailycrawfish
in Local Issues
0
Home Local Issues
0
SHARES
0
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

NEW IBERIA, LA – Iberia Parish Crime Stoppers spokesman and America’s most expressive hand gestures cop, Sergeant Stephen Guidry will be out of action indefinitely after an unfortunate incident involving a Chinese finger trap toy.

Sources at the Iberia Parish Sheriff’s Office have informed us Sergeant Guidry was investigating a break-in at a local convenience store when he became fascinated by the toy left behind by a small child. Sensing that this could be a clue, Sergeant Guidry picked up the finger trap, and made the mistake of sticking both index fingers into it, instantly rendering the spokesman unable to perform his characteristic wild hand gestures on Crime Stoppers episodes.



All’s not lost for brave Sgt. Guidry. A spokesman for Mr. Gatti’s has confirmed that he does have a promising career performing for kids on the weekends if he is unable to continue his law enforcement and TV career.

Until they are able to find a replacement, Iberia Parish has enlisted the help of Troy Landry from Swamp People, and a gang of trash pandas from a local trailer park. This decision was made after Congressman Clay Higgins turned down the job, citing possible retribution from the Gremlins Gang, and additional child support deductions.



Iberia Parish Sheriff’s Department has asked that you keep Sgt. Guidry, his family, and the agency in your thoughts and prayers during these trying times.

thedailycrawfish

thedailycrawfish

Next Post
Saints Boycotters Now Resorting To Underground Morse Code Networks In Order To Keep Up To Date On Game

Saints Boycotters Now Resorting To Underground Morse Code Networks In Order To Keep Up To Date On Game

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Connect with us

Recommended

UPDATE: Local Non-Religious Man Comes Through Family Grace Alive; Sets Sights On Easter 2016

UPDATE: Local Non-Religious Man Comes Through Family Grace Alive; Sets Sights On Easter 2016

5 years ago
Area Mom Just Wants To Know If Any Schools Are Closed, Damn It

Area Mom Just Wants To Know If Any Schools Are Closed, Damn It

4 years ago

Relax, baw.

It’s just satire. So don’t come at us with that lawyering-up bullshit. This is ‘merica. We got that First Amendment, ‘kay? Good.

For a more professional explanation, please read our disclaimer.

Give us a follow on Facebook, y'all!

Contact: [email protected]

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Politics
  • World
  • Business
  • Science
  • National
  • Entertainment
  • Gaming
  • Movie
  • Music
  • Sports
  • Fashion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Tech
  • Health
  • Food

© 2021 JNews - Premium WordPress news & magazine theme by Jegtheme.

sponsored