For some local residents, this may be your first time traveling out of state this holiday season. A member of your family may have won the educational lottery and gone to a higher education institution in a far-away place like Virginia. Perhaps someone has gotten a coveted oilfield job in West Texas, or even a tech job in Japan, and you have to travel to these places in order to celebrate the holidays.
No worries, the staff here at The Daily Crawfish have you covered. We understand that the cultural differences may be hard to adjust to at first, and the fact that California doesn’t have boudin might make Papa Boudreaux from Parks go “Cawwww!”
First off, if you’re going to fly, please keep your consumption of Bud Light to less than a six-pack before boarding your flight at Lafayette Regional Airport, and please remember that it’s not classified as a carry-on item.
If you plan to drive west, you really need to stop at Buc-ee’s in Baytown, Texas. No need to thank us, you’re welcome in advance. Get the Beaver Nuggets.
If you plan to travel east, please pack seven days of supplies and fishing tackle if you are going over the Basin Bridge. Also, stay out of the left lane, or Daniel Phillips from KATC will yell at you. If you’re going west through Lake Charles, please make sure you have life insurance before crossing their dilapidated bridge held together by prayers and duct tape.
For those of you who plan to travel overseas, please remember that sushi is not bait. Also, “come see” means different things over there, and the last thing you want to do is end up on a TSA watchlist for smuggling Kinder eggs back into the country up your keister. We still have an intern in detention at Heathrow for that mistake.
From The Daily Crawfish, we wish you and your family a happy holidays. And don’t eat the straight tails.