LAFAYETTE, LA – In what one could call slight irony, it’s been announced that the only remaining stores still open for business within Lafayette are the going-out-of-business furniture stores.

The stores, which have been “going out of business” for the past 20 years, are the only thriving industry within city limits. This comes after Oil Center staple Piccadilly Cafeteria announced it’s closure at the end of this week.

Many are blaming the decline in the oil sector as the main reason for the rapid closure of pretty much every single business in Lafayette, with others blaming the fact that 95% of the Lafayette population are currently stuck on the Basin Bridge.

“With the closure of Piccadilly, the only remaining businesses open in Lafayette are furniture stores,” confirmed local official Steven Neal, “Which is great, if you need a new recliner. Not so great if you need food or groceries.

But rather than look at the negatives, we’re now proclaiming and embracing the fact that Lafayette is now the discount furniture capital of the world.

You know what they say, there are only two things that can survive a nuclear war – cockroaches, and going-out-of-business furniture stores.

We’re excited for the future of this city.”


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