ATCHAFALAYA, LA – Due to one reason or another – probably a stalled vehicle or a dumbass who can’t drive – the I-10 is currently closed at mile marker 122 because, well, it’s the I-10 and that’s all that really matters in this issue.
Authorities are warning drivers to somehow avoid the area despite it being a poorly thought out stretch of road, or at least pull out their pillows from their rear seats and get comfortable for a couple of hours.
“Yeah the I-10 is closed again”, confirmed Police Chief David Haynes, “We could tell you why but it doesn’t really make any difference does it? It’s the I-10. That’s all you need to know. Just, I don’t know, catch some Z’s or whatever until we’ve cleaned this thing up.”