YOUNGSVILLE, LA – Fear not, residents of Youngsville, for everything is under control. After the recently built Southside High School came under fire yesterday for almost being over capacity, school leaders have reassured residents that’s it’s not an issue.
Senior officials at the school have confirmed that capacity issues will be dealt with over the next few weeks with the announcement of an impromptu hunger games event, which will see students battle it out for a place at the school.
The games will force students to use all of their skills to survive. Limited links of boudin will be placed around the course for nutrition. NERF guns and water bombs will be available for weaponary, and dangers such as eegrets and raccoons will have to be dealt with.
Officials believe that the event will be for the best.
“This hunger games event will be positive for both the school, the community and the state as a whole”, said spokesperson Mia Dupont, “Firstly and foremostly it’ll solve our crowding issues, something that we as a school know that we need to solve.”
“Secondly, it will ensure that Southside High will only have the best, the brightest, and the most determined students. You don’t win a hunger game event by being dumb.”
“Thirdly, and in turn, this will ensure that education and graduation levels in Louisiana will continue to climb for generations. We’re confident that by attempting to solve an immediate issue, we’ll end up solving numerous long term issues.”
The games start next week.