SAN JOSE, CA – It’s that time of year again! And great news for Louisiana came out of the Apple Conference in San Jose yesterday, as CEO Tim Cook announced the new Apple Smart Watch Louisiana Edition.
The watch, which comes with a number of functionalities tailored to Louisiana residents, was given a release date of September 21.
Cook, who described the watch as “the biggest Apple release in years”, explained why he believes that Louisiana will buy it up in no time.
“We’re very excited to bring the Apple Watch 4 to Louisiana”, he said, “The exclusively tailored Louisiana Edition sees a number of functionalities which will make the day-to-day living of Louisiana folk so much easier.”
“It’s not only waterproof, but 100% humidity resistant. And it comes coated in a thin layer of Teflon, so that any spilled gumbo gravy just slides right off, baw. Did I say that right?”
“We’re excited to launch it, and we hope it does well.”
The watch also comes with a number of built-in features such as a Cajun voice (male or female) that reads the time to you, a weather app that tells you if it’s worth mowin’ dat lawn, and a maps app that tries to talk you out of travelling out of state.
It also comes with 15,000 pre-loaded Cajun recipes, digital meat thermometer, and a scanner that tells you if your food is under-seasoned.
Also built-in is a T-Boy warning system, that will activate when an F-150 is swerving in and out of traffic on Johnson Street within a one-mile radius.
The watch is expected to retail at around $50, because who the hell has $700 to spend on a watch in Louisiana?