CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – With many people wondering what the hell the reasoning was behind NASA launching a probe into the Sun two week ago, clarification was given today.

NASA engineers this afternoon confirmed at a press conference that the Parker Solar Probe was launched directly at the Sun as part of preparation for a 2019 launch of a probe to Louisiana.



With a surface temperature of 9,940 Fahrenheit, the Sun is only 1,000 Farenheit cooler than Louisiana in the middle of Summer. Because of this, it serves as the perfect test bed to see how close their probe design can get without melting.

NASA engineer and Project Lead Jonathan Haskins explained more.

“By sending the PSP as close to the Sun as possible, it’ll give us a nice set of results”, he said, “From this, we can then determine what we need to send a probe to Louisiana.”

“It’s an exciting mission and one that we hope to learn a lot from. We want to know why Louisiana is the sweaty armpit of the United States and this is going to hopefully give us the answers.”



“The Parker Solar Probe has been travelling for 14 days so far and will be flying past Venus soon. We thought we’d detected alien lifeforms shortly after launch, but that was just Lake Charles.”

A mission update is expected next week.

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