LAFAYETTE, LA – Although adamant that this is only going to be a short term thing, area teacher Hannah Silva has officially entered a polyamorous relationship with her sofa, bed, TV and wine until around the end of August.

Silva claims that she’s had her eye on all four since around the beginning of the school year, but hadn’t had the time to fully commit to any of them.

But now that she does, she’s insistent that she’s going to be spending a lot of time with them.

“I’m going to make sure that each of them get an equal amount of time with me”, she said, “Maybe even more than one of them at once. I’m sure the sofa and the wine won’t mind hanging out with me at the same time.”

“They all seem great and individually I can’t wait to be spending every moment with them for the short-term future.”

“I have made it explicitly clear to each of them though that I don’t expect this to last beyond the end of August. After that, I probably won’t be seeing them again.”

“It’s sad, but it’s just the way it is.”


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