NEW IBERIA, LA – In a herculean effort to celebrate the tenuous links to an extremely small amount of its residents’ Irish heritage, the city of New Iberia turned its water fountain a little greener than usual today – but not a lot. Just a shade.

The fountain, which usually resembles a scene from Ghostbusters for the other 51 weeks of the year anyway, had approximately half a teaspoon of of ‘vomit green’ dye added to it this afternoon.

Citizens who were there to watch the event explained that they were kind of excited.

“I mean, I don’t see much difference”, said resident Melvin Rhodes, “It had a radioactive gleam to it before and it has a little more of one now. You should see it at night, you can probably see it glowing from space.”

“But either way I guess it’s cool. No better way to celebrate the Spanish history of this city than this, huh?”

Local resident Cheryl Sorensen said she was looking forward to letting her children have fun in it.

“The kids love it”, she said, “We started letting them play in it last year, and they have a blast. One of them grew a third arm too, which is super handy for when she does chores.”

“They can’t wait to splash around in it while I sit back and celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with an all-American Natty Light.”


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