KAPLAN, LA – Despite being given a slight clean and a little attention, reports indicate that nobody attending the Kaplan Mardi Gras parade was under any illusion that float number 3 wasn’t a repurposed recreational meth lab.

Donned with a couple of curtains that had been turned into Mardi Gras colored drapes as well as some seasonal bunting from the Dollar General, float number 3 cruised on through Downtown Kaplan as part of the Krewe de Vermilionaires, in tow behind a 2003 Chevy Venture that had been borrowed from an area soccer mom.

A hand drawn banner had been strategically placed over the windows as to not allow kids to peer through and question what the various glass beakers were used for.

The smell of chemicals was “apparent” according to parade goers, however many explained it to their children as just “a special type of funnel cake that’s being fried over at the stand”.

Regardless of the situation, the parade received mainly positive feedback with many suggesting that they’d come again next year, mainly due to the fact that 99% of residents never actually get to leave Kaplan.

The public is being asked to return all beads, toys, doubloons and other items that were thrown from floats to the nearest float rider or police officer, as these will have to be reused again in 2019 due to budget cuts in the town.


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