LAFAYETTE, LA – In what is seen as a major blow to Lafayette City Marshal Brian Pope and his representatives, a judge has dismissed his request to have the location of his trial switched to the Golden Corral on Ambassador Caffery.

Pope faces five counts of malfeasance and two counts of perjury on allegations he misused his public office for political purposes and lied about those actions while under oath.

His attorneys filed a motion for change of venue in Pope’s felony case last week. They claimed that Pope was most likely to become hungry during the trial, and what better place to combat that than the Golden Corral all you can eat lunch buffet for a very reasonable $8.69.

“We filed this motion as we take into account the food related needs of both us and our client”, a spokesperson said, “Golden Corral happens to be a favorite eating establishment of our client and we also kind of like it too. It’s a very fair price for the amount of food you can possibly eat.”

“The mac and cheese is above standard, and the unlimited refills of Barq’s Root Beer is also a highly tantalizing factor.”

“An added bonus is that our clients choice of apparel – namely the sub-$5 Hawaiian button down shirts – blends in seamlessly with the clientele of said location.”

“We hope that the judge takes into account these factors before making a decision.”

The judge however turned that motion down today, claiming that “too many people involved in the trial would be tempted to get up to go to the buffet too often”, and “would most likely become annoying after half an hour or so”.

He also warned Pope that he would “automatically be found guilty” should he turn up in one of those floral Hawaiian shirts, and taken away by the fashion police.

The trial begins next week.


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