LAFAYETTE, LA – Thoroughly deserved! With yesterday’s news of Papa John’s CEO John Schnatter stepping down amid the controversy of his kneeling comments, the national pizza chain have taken no time at all in announcing his replacement.

Fellow CEO’s were hesitant to remove the Papa John’s name, citing the brand’s well known reputation. This means that they were left with the task of finding a replacement John that could be the “face of the brand”.

Come forward, John the Revelator.

Yes, the ever-popular Lafayette trombonist, DJ, and all round nice guy was named as the new Papa John this morning.

John, who is believed to begin his new position with immediate effect, has already begun filming the next commercial. However with Payton Manning reportedly moving into a snowy Coloradan cabin with Schnatter, the company have drafted in Ben Roethlisberger to be his on-set buddy, citing that it’s probably the biggest NFL name that could put away a small army of pizzas.

The company also confirmed that his trademark trombone quips will be incorporated into future commercials. An air date for the first one is yet to be released.


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