BATON ROUGE, LA – With what appears to be the worst of the relentless snowfall finished, Governor John Bel Edwards took to the podium moments ago to calm nerves of Louisiana citizens, and promised that the state will “recover and rebuild” from what many are calling the snowstorm of the century.

A simply awful 0.5″ fell in certain places of Louisiana, with somed areas seeing a soul-crushing 1″ to 1.5″.

Schools were boarded up, many businesses were shuttered, and cars were left abandoned on the side of the road – however this may have been the case before the snow arrived.

Early reports indicate almost 16 people admitted to hospitals across the state, 11 of which were sickness from attempting to eat yellow snow.

Edwards’ statement was somber, yet direct.

“I know there is not a lot that I can say that will make things better for many people today”, he said, “But know that we can, and we will, recover and rebuild from this devastation that Mother Nature has unleashed upon us.”

“We have our brave first responders out on the roads as we speak, gritting the roads and melting the snow using handheld heaters. They will be also looking for anyone trapped in the areas that have seen 2-3″ of snow. Please keep all of them in your prayers.”

“We have not yet been able to make an estimation on the amount of damage caused from a financial aspect, but I know for a fact that I have lot around $6 in egg revenue as my chickens are not laying thanks to the weather.”

He did move to reassure residents that, despite rumors, there is not a shortage of gumbo ingredients.

“Despite what you are hearing from various sources, gumbo ingredients are still somewhat plentiful and should last a couple more weeks. We will revisit the situation early next week and make an announcement if we are in trouble.”

“Again, we are still evaluating the damager and will have more of a gauge on things in the coming days. Stay safe, stay warm, and may God be with you.”


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