BATON ROUGE, LA – Officials today gave Lousiana lawyer Gordon McKernan his strongest telling off yet as they warned him for the thirty-second and final time to stop standing on the front of big rigs while they are in motion.
McKernan, currently based out of Baton Rouge, has reportedly been seen jumping from I-10 overpass bridges and landing perfectly on the hoods of big rigs on a regular basis, where he proceeds to look directly ahead and repeat his advertising spiels as if on camera.
City official Mark Rogers explained how the city has been coping with the news.
The issue makes it extremely difficult for drivers of the 18-wheelers to see the road ahead. In fact, companies are becoming so worried that their drivers may be the next victims of an unexpected Gordon that many of them are now teaching their employees the correct course of action should McKernan land on the front of their trucks.
Now, officials are taking matters into their own hands by offering their sternest warning yet.
“We have contacted Gordon to discuss the repetitive issue at hand”, explained Safety On The Road spokesperson William Gibbs, “We have explained to him in no uncertain words that this can not continue. We’re not sure if it’s just an addiction at this point or whether he just enjoys doing it as a casual hobby. Either way, it can’t go on.”
“We will be monitoring the situation over the coming months to see if he curbs his actions. It is dangerous for drivers and dangerous for him. Although I have to admit that it does look somewhat cool.”
If you see Gordon standing on the hood of a big rig, please contact authorities.