NEW ORLEANS, LA – As The Saints racked up their seventh straight victory with a convincing 47-10 win over the Buffalo Bills, a new report suggests that disgruntled NFL boycotters are having to go to even more desperate lengths in order to keep up to date on the game.
Vast underground communication networks have come to light in recent weeks as folk that are still angry with the “kneelers” yet simultaneously realize that the Saints might actually be playoff bound now need to find ways of staying updated with the games without actually being discovered.
Because of this, Morse code is now their reported weapon of choice in talking to each other, and allows the boycotters to provide each other with live game updates such as touchdowns or yard gains with relative ease and the ability to stay anonymous.
Fernando Edwards, the man who spearheaded the report, explains the lengths that these so called “boycotters” go to.
“These people who have decided to boycott the NFL or the Saints in particular might talk a big game in public, but that is not the case elsewhere”, he said. “Right now the hot communication method is Morse code, but they are also implementing other methods of keeping updated on games.”
“Now that the clocks have gone back and the darkness rolls in earlier, we are seeing boycotters also use Morse code communications through torches and phone backlights. They will communicate from house to house, or across streets and fields to give score updates through a series of flashes or blinks.”
“Those who own birds are also using trained carrier birds to deliver messages to each other. And of course, we’re also seeing the classic alleyway meetings between these boycotters that will silent hand off notes to each other as they pass each other, like a scene out of a 1950’s TCM gangster movie.”
Edwards expects the boycotters to either reemerge after the inevitable playoff loss, or deny ever being a boycotter if the Saints do manage to win a Super Bowl this year.