LAFAYETTE, LA – Now this looks cool. Moncus Park development officially began this week with the announcement of a ‘hipster racing’ arena.
Construction on the arena, which will reportedly be able to hold 20,000 people, will begin in a few weeks.
A brand new concept only recently thought up and described as “a mixture of Roman chariot racing and modern-day greyhound racing”, hipster racing involves taking willing participants from both the Freetown area and the Saturday Farmer’s Market, and riding on their back as they make their way towards the finish line.
Riders encourage faster movement by dangling various essential oils in front of their faces, as well as propelling rare vinyl records around the edge of the circuit not unlike the rabbit in dog racing.
The winner after 5 laps of the circuit wins a $50 gift certificate to Artmosphere, as well as a brand new couch for their porch.
Spectators will also have a chance to meet and greet the winner as they take a victory lap of the stadium in the back of a Prius.
“This is a huge first step in the rejuvenation of The Horse Farm”, explained spokesperson Shawn Turner, “We have a beautiful grassland right in the heart of Lafayette and this is going to be a welcome addition to an already gorgeous space.”
“Hipster racing has really taken off in recent months, and with ease of access to many many competitors we want to ensure we’re at the forefront of what we believe will be a global sport in a few years.”
“The stadium will be state-of-the-art and fully stocked with numerous food and drink outlets, all of which will only serve PBR and artisan grass pizza. We’ve also installed a $50,000 speaker system that will play Fleet Foxes albums on repeat. We’re very excited to break ground on this.”