LAGOS, NIGERIA – Well this is unfortunate. There were red faces all round this morning as famed rescuers The Cajun Navy docked in Lagos, Nigeria instead of Puerto Rico, after someone forgot to update the GPS software.

The 2008 Garmin GPS device was purchased by one of the Cajun Navy members just three days before departure from Carencro thrift store The Jockey Lot. However, due to the fact that the device had not been updated in over seven years, their naval destroyer the CND Thibodeaux took them over 4000 nautical miles off-course.

The collective of weekend pleasure boat owners and duck hunters set off from Buras, but instead of heading to the U.S. territory devastated by Hurricane Maria, they ended up in the African city known for Internet scams.

We spoke to self-appointed Rear Admiral Blake Robideaux from the Franklin chapter of the Cajun Navy via satellite phone.

“We suffered greatly once we left the range of Louisiana radio stations like KBON 101.1.” he said. “We thought that we would arrive quickly in Puerto Rico and be greeted by thousands of desperate Mexicans who needed our help. There was a ton of people who volunteered when they heard Nickel Beer was onboard. I guess they thought it was a booze cruise.”

“Instead, Mr. Thibodeaux from Eunice noticed that something was wrong when he hadn’t seen land in almost 30 hours. The fact that he couldn’t understand GPS directions given in Mexican didn’t help matters either. It was a nightmare.”

“Right now we’re in Nigeria, which kinda resembles South Louisiana. The shanty shacks look just like the ones in Franklin anyway. We should be able to set sail for Puerto Rico once I download the updated software at an Internet cafe. I’ll make sure to download the ‘Spanish for Couillons‘ program too.”

“Another important lesson that we learned the hard way is that you can’t find Skoal or Bud Light easily on other continents. Boudreaux from Cecilia has been tweaking ever since we rounded the Straits of Florida.”

On the bright side, Louisiana’s budget crisis should be solved, as soon as the money from a Nigerian prince’s lost fortune is sent to Baton Rouge. Jay Dardenne has confirmed that $55 billion will be deposited in the state coffers, once he sends a $500 processing fee to Ambassador Gomer Akhigbe via Western Union.

The Daily Crawfish will keep you up to date as the fleet returns, or gets caught up in a hurricane.


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