BATON ROUGE, LA – Looks like someone is updating that resume! With the news of HHS Secretary Tom Price resigning today amid reports of him extensively using private jets and military aircraft for government business, ex-Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal has been frantically Googling such phrases as ‘what does the HHS Secretary do?’ and ‘is the HHS Secretary position easy?’ in preparation for submitting his application for the job.

Jindal has been essentially unemployed for the past three years after giving up his seat to current Governor John Bel Edwards, however he has been keeping himself busy by sleeping outside the CNN offices in hopes of appearing in interviews as well as crocheting eco-friendly gun holsters.

“Hmm, I think I could do that job,” Jindal was reportedly heard muttering as he read the breaking news of Price’s resignation, “Health and Human Services? Never heard of it. I didn’t even know that was something that we offered to people. I guess I’d better Google it to see if it requires me to actually do some work, or whether I can just sit back most of the day and spend federal money on whatever the hell I want.”

After Googling certain aspects of the position and realizing that it is actually a fairly important position, Jindal allegedly submitted his application. However this was only achieved after wife Supriya – who has become more than sick of seeing her husband come home each day complaining that “CNN can kiss his ass” due to being moved on from the entranceway each day – forced him to go for the job because the bills are racking up.

It is yet to be seen if President Trump will consider Jindal for the position, however it should become clearer in the coming days if he is a viable match.


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