NEW YORK CITY, NY – Great news for our financially-stricken state! Louisiana was pulled out of the hole a little today as a collection plate was passed around at the United Nations conference in New York City, with all proceeds going to help the state budget.

World leaders from all over the globe dug deep into their pockets to help out Louisiana, with some of them being as generous as to throw ten’s and twenty’s into the pot. President Trump was more than happy to add $5 to the collection, however he did request that a receipt be made out to him so that it could be used as a tax write-off come February.

Governor John Bel Edwards was delighted at the final figure.

“Well we just got done counting the plate and I’m delighted to announce that there’s $87.36 and a couple of Lifesaver mints in here”, he said excitedly, “This will be going straight to the state budget and will ensure that Louisiana is that much closer to getting back on its feet.”

“The mints will also ensure that my breath is completely fresh for the rest of the day. So I call that a win-win.”

“I thank all the leaders here for their generosity. Apart from President Khama of Botswana who put some old French francs in there, clearly under the assumption that we’re still under French rule. Innocent mistake to make, I guess.”


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