While the country has been buzzing with the news that Trump has decided to end the DACA program, the White House is also considering plans to deport the Cajun population of the United States.
Although the lamestream media has failed to report on this shocking turn of events, Daily Crawfish News was granted exclusive access to the plans by bribing unnamed officials with bags of pepperjack boudin balls from Billy’s.
Once inside the West Wing, we were able to sit down one on one with Trump who explained why Cajuns were next on the list.
“These people are here without permission. Hell, they don’t even speak American very well and their food sucks. I mean have you even tried boudin? It looks like something I squeeze out every morning while I’m on Twitter. The last time I ate some of it by mistake, my ass hurt so bad that I almost nuked Lafayette before John Kelly ripped the codes away.”
“We were considering selling Louisiana back to France, but it turns out they have a lot of oil. Like a tremendous amount of oil, the place practically swims in the stuff, and I’m not just talking about the food.”
When asked about how he would find and deport Cajuns, Donald Trump hid behind Attorney General Pete Sessions who provided the details.
“Honestly, it’s not that hard. Their English isn’t much better than a native Mexican speaker, and you can often find them in the same places. You know, Catholic churches, flea markets, music festivals with accordions, etc. Since their families brought them here illegally, we should be able to round them up at the same time. I believe they call that lagniappe down in Louisiana.”
This story continues to develop.