ORLANDO, FL – Businesses helping businesses! With Hurricane Irma forcing Walt Disney World to close its doors to the public for just the sixth time in almost fifty years, bosses at Disney today held a press conference urging would-be visitors to check out Kart Ranch in Lafayette as an alternative for a rootin’ tootin’ good time.

With many tourists vacationing in Florida who were hoping to visit one of the Disney parks, company bosses felt it important to reassure them that there are places within a day’s drive that can fill a hole.

“Obviously we regret not being able to open our doors over the next few days”, explained Disney spokesperson Ernest Fick, “But safety is paramount. We’ve rounded up all of our characters and caged them up securely in an underground bunker beneath Tomorrowland.”

“Bear in mind however we’ll be reopening on Monday, so make sure you guys come back where we’ll have your $15 soda’s and $35 hot dogs waiting for you.”

“But this is a great opportunity to get out there and see what else the Southern states of this country have to offer. Kart Ranch in Lafayette is a fantastic alternative and offers just as much fun as any of our attractions. I mean, they have a putt-putt golf, go karts, uhm… putt-putt golf, a rock wall to climb up, and a sweet arcade with Pong and stuff.”

“We might even see if we can lend them one of our D-list characters. We’ll try and get Tweedle Dum or Brer Rabbit shipped out there before Irma arrives to sign a few autographs and take some photos with the kids.”

“Bear in mind however we’ll be reopening on Monday, so make sure you guys come back where we’ll have your $15 soda’s and $35 hot dogs waiting for you.”

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