GULF OF MEXICO – This doesn’t look good. Just when you thought that the worst was over, a rogue Mad-Max-esque Cajun Navy has been spotted cruising the coastline of the Gulf of Mexico.
With the real Cajun Navy helping flood efforts in and around the Houston area, this group of outcast rebels have been seen observing goings-on from a distance. It is not yet known what their motives or plans are, however local authorities have dubbed them the ‘War Baws’.
Led by a blind Doof Warrior that plays the banjo in order to call the group to war, their water-based vehicles appear to be heavily modified and heavily armed.
“We’re definitely keeping a close eye on them”, coastguard member Kenneth Keith said, “We’re not sure what they want, but we’re prepared for whatever that may be.”
“I have to say though they have some sweet rides. A lot of the guys in the Cajun Navy were taking a long-distance look at their modded boats and got pretty inspired by it all. It looks like they raided a Lafayette repo yard and just went wild. Gotta give them credit for that.”
Keith also explained that they have done recon surveillance on the group.
“We think that they’re armed with some bottle rockets and firecrackers from one of those roadside firework stands”, he said, “Real advanced stuff. They also have eyes-in-the-sky in the form of well-trained egrets.”
“As soon as we hear the sound of a banjo being played through that 5-megawatt speaker setup, we’ll know that it’s on.”
This story is developing.