LAFAYETTE, LA – School officials at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette are reportedly growing frustrated at students due to an increasing amount of complaints about weather and campus conditions, and have taken to media channels in order to post a press release concerning the recent storms.

The press release can be seen here:

Many students however were angered – albeit completely unsurprised – by the release, and took to social media to express their outrage. Many questioned whether the schools priorities lay in the right place with regards to Hurricane Harvey, pointing to the numerous Public Schools and State Offices that are closed for the upcoming few days, as well as Law Enforcement telling people to stay off of the roads.

In light of the press release, UL official John Scherrer explained his frustration at the situation.

“Look, I don’t see why they are complaining so much” he said. “Sure, the entire campus is up to ankles in water. Sure, they may have to dodge the alligators leaving the Student Union, and have to take great effort in not being swept away in currents created by our buses, but we can all agree that at the end of the day education comes before Safety.”

“We will take every precaution available, from our office or home, to ensure that this weather does not ruin your chance of attending a lecture on Sociology. Oh, and please don’t drip water in the classrooms. If you do, we’ll have to look into a new tuition fee for cleanup.”

While many students expressed anger and frustration over the lack of common sense being provided by ULL officials, some of their parents are being dismissive.

“We all did it!!! It’s always been this way.”, explained area stuck-in-the-60’s mom Wilma Gray. “Sure, I may have developed pneumonia due to walking shin deep in the water for 4 hours, but it’s part of the college education! Just suck it up you damn millennials!”

Editors Note:
*For real though ULL officials, y’all are some shitters. Leave your damn offices and join those kids who have to wade through the cold water and risk illness and injury. Or do the right thing, and take their safety into account and cancel the damn classes.*


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