LAFAYETTE, LA – With the heavy rains quickly approaching the Acadiana area over the next few days, the Cajun Navy can take heart in the fact that their new naval destroyer has been delivered to them in their efforts to help the local populous.
Thanks to plenty of donations to the Cajun Navy after last year’s August floods, the group were able to purchase the $1.8b Arleigh Burke-Class Destroyer, and it seems that it has been completed just in the nick of time.
“We were loading up the trusty yet old wooden boat onto the back of a truck when the contractor called”, explained Cajun Navy member Robert Kraft, “He said that it was ready for usage and that he’d parked it in a Youngsville neighborhood with the keys in the ignition. It couldn’t have come at a better time, what with Harvey hitting the area as it has done.”
The CNS Thibodeaux is most certainly an upgrade from the janky old rowing boat that was used in the past, and can hold up to 500 people at a time. It will be primarily used to rescue stranded citizens and deliver supplies in heavily flooded areas and, but officials did admit that it would be a complete waste “if it wasn’t used to blow some stuff up now and then”.
“I mean, the weaponry is on board. So I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t want to shoot some cans off of a fence-line with a 20mm Phalanx. But for the most part we will be using it to just, y’know, save people and stuff.”
It is believed that the Thibodeaux will not even have time for it’s naming ceremony, as it is immediately being directed to Texas to assist those in need.