FRANKLIN, LA – A Southern Louisiana White Nationalist Protest scheduled for today had to be cancelled, after Caleb made a schoolboy error and forgot the freakin’ Zippo lighters.

Caleb, who is fairly new to the group, reportedly turned up at the rally raring to go. However his excitement soon turned to despair after realizing that he’d left the box of bootleg Zippo lighters on the kitchen counter-top of his single-wide home in Houma.

Zippo lighters had apparently been their chosen method of looking menacing due to the fact that citronella tiki-torches were way out of the protest group’s budget.

“Gad damn it Caleb you had one freakin’ job to do!”, group leader Troy Blanchard was overheard yelling at him, “Now how in the hell are we going to look like a bunch o’ badasses if we can’t hold naked flames in the air?!”

“We got the flags, we got the riot gear from that fancy dress store in town at a discount price that we ain’t NEVER gonna get again; shit, we even got fresh white bed-sheets with the eye-holes and everythin’! My wife was up until 2am washin’ those things!”

“Shit Caleb y’gone and fucked it up. Y’gone ruined my weekend. Call it off boys, we’ll do this thing another day. Ain’t got no gad damn lighters. Gad damn it!”

The protest is yet to be rescheduled.


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