NEW ORLEANS, LA – NFL, beware! Fresh off the back of an embarrassing off-season defeat to the Browns, New Orleans Saints this morning received a huge boost by announcing that their Drew Brees Cloning Initiative had been successful, and that 20 replicas of their star quarter-back had been produced.
Officials suggest that the success of the initiative will see Saints’ quarter-back position covered for the next 120 years, freeing up valuable draft pick spaces and ensuring that they’ll never have to part ways with their hero.
“This is one of the most exciting days in Saints history”, said spokesperson Jerry Foote, “With the success of the DBCI we have ensured that the Saints will remain somewhat competitive for the long-term and allow us to keep disappointing our fans in the short-term.”
“We sent all 20 clones out for a practice session this morning to run a few fitness tests, which went well. They are now all back in cryogenic pods now where they will remain frozen in suspended animation until the current Drew Brees, or Drew Brees Zero as we now call him, decides to retire. We’ll then wheel out Drew Brees 01, and so on and so forth.”
“This will also allow us to use our draft picks to bring players in for positions that we really need to improve. And obviously by that, I mean neglecting the defense and stocking up on average offensive players. It’s a win in all situations.”