WASHINGTON, D.C. – Wow, talk about a retaliation. President Trump is showing just what a stern leader he is by vowing to bring “fire and fury” to North Korea. But what does that mean?

An exclusive report obtained from Washington insiders has revealed that Trump plans to bring that fire and fury to North Korea by sending an official envoy from the McIlhenny Co. plant in Avery Island to Pyongyang, and introducing the self-proclaimed “self-reliant state” to the bowel-blowing Tabasco Habanero Sauce condiment.

“Trump wants to really hit them where it hurts – the digestive systems of the North Korean government”, said the source. “They’re going to find out what “fire and fury” really means when they’re sat on the toilet at 2am with a toilet roll that’s been chilling in the ice box for an hour. They’re not going to want to mess with America any more.”

“The sauce registers at a 7,000 on the Scoville scale – nothing to us Americans, and certainly nothing to the people of Louisiana. But those North Koreans won’t have felt anything like it before. This tension will be over within three days.”

It is yet to be seen just how the North Korean government will intake the sauce, however it is believed to revolve around the idea of the envoy delivering a batch of shrimp po-boys as a “good will gesture” with the sauce loaded on the base of it, hidden away out of sight.


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